When Ahmet Selim Tekelioglu’s 6-year-old son, Mehmet, returned home from school complaining, “Nobody can say my name properly,” it highlighted a common challenge among Philadelphia’s immigrant families: maintaining cultural identity through language. Born and raised in Turkey and living in the U.S. since 2007, Tekelioglu, Executive Director of CAIR-Philadelphia, understands the daily effort required to balance heritage languages with English.
For Tekelioglu, his wife Hena Cebeci, and their two young children, this balancing act is a constant negotiation in conversations, decisions, and personal identity. “We speak both,” he explains. “English is more comfortable for my wife, Turkish is more comfortable for me… The kids get English at school, and we try to have them speak Turkish at home.”
Navigating Language and Identity Challenges for Immigrant Children
This approach rarely leads to full fluency, reflecting a broader trend of situational language use, or code-switching, among immigrant families. Tekelioglu recalls a friend of Iranian and Mexican heritage who regrets not learning Farsi or Spanish at home, ultimately having to study both languages in college.
In a linguistically diverse city like Philadelphia, this challenge is amplified. Muslim communities alone speak Arabic, Urdu, Turkish, Farsi, Armenian, Sudanese, and more. Few institutions are equipped to support such diversity, leaving families largely responsible for preserving their heritage languages.
At cultural events, such as one Tekelioglu attended in West Philadelphia, many speeches were bilingual, yet the keynote was only in Bengali. Young attendees may have struggled to follow or felt reluctant to admit if they didn’t understand. Similarly, religious spaces face dilemmas: some maintain Arabic-only sermons to preserve tradition, while others use English to engage younger generations.
“For children, especially those born in the U.S., the pressure to fit in can lead to discomfort with language and identity, especially when teachers or peers mispronounce their names or perceive their accents as different,” Tekelioglu notes.
The Role of Bilingual Counseling Assistants
Maintaining heritage language fluency is not only a personal endeavor but a community challenge. Limited language programming in schools and mosques places much of the burden on families. Here, Bilingual Counseling Assistants (BCAs) play a critical role, bridging language and cultural gaps for students and parents.
Margarita Abuawadeh, a BCA in the School District of Philadelphia, supports nearly 450 families across two schools. Fluent in Spanish and Arabic, she assists families with enrollment, scholarships, college planning, and cultural adjustment, while also sponsoring the Hispanics y Latinos Unidos Club.
“The biggest barrier is acclimating,” Abuawadeh says. “At home, students speak one language and follow their culture. At school, they face a completely different culture and language.” Philadelphia, along with cities like New York and Chicago, is among the few that provide such services.
Despite institutional support, children often face internal conflicts about identity. “We encourage students not to choose between English and their heritage language,” Abuawadeh explains. “We help them embrace both and take pride in who they are and where they come from.”
Challenges Beyond the Classroom
Opportunities for language immersion have diminished over time. Traditional extended visits to parents’ home countries are less common due to costs and documentation restrictions, as well as regional instability affecting Palestinian, Syrian, and Sudanese families. While short trips can help, children return to English-dominant environments, limiting effectiveness.
Generational differences are pronounced. Parents may worry about accents, names, or cultural markers, while children navigate pressures to fit in. Post-9/11 expectations to sound “native” have influenced how Muslim youth perceive Americanness. Tekelioglu observes that some mosques, school boards, and media outlets favor individuals without accents, reflecting implicit bias toward assimilation.
Even everyday words or concepts can create communication gaps between children and parents, affecting conflict resolution or emotional support.
A Hopeful Outlook
Despite challenges, both Tekelioglu and Abuawadeh are optimistic. “There’s more awareness now,” Tekelioglu says. “More people are asking: ‘How do we do this better?’” Abuawadeh adds, “Language is not just about speaking; it’s about connection. And that connection matters.”
Together, immigrant families, community leaders, and bilingual counselors are helping the next generation maintain cultural roots, bridging gaps between heritage and the dominant culture while fostering pride in diverse identities.